Many of us who has siblings will know how
frustrating it can be to get along at times.
Just imagine how much worst it is for me,
trying to get along with a counterpart that you cannot even run away from, tied
together by birthday and genes. Trust me, I know exactly how this feels.
I have countless people who came up to
me with a dreamy look in their eyes saying “I wish I had a twin- I would love
to have someone my own age to play with.”
No doubt, these people must be thinking
about those famous twin movies from “The Parent Trap”, or “finding Mary-Kate
and Ashley”. Their dazzling identical smiles and exotic twin powers that are
enough to charm the pants off anyone. Or some, who might be think of the kind
of twins who are constantly in matching outfits- The type that finishes off
each other’s sentences and know exactly what the other is thinking. Yes, there
are some twins who really are like that. I’m not denying that, for I’ve ever
met twins like that myself before.
However, it is surely a common misconception
and assumption to think that twins will be identical and have mirroring
personalities of each other. In most case, or at least in my case, this is
absolutely untrue. At the worst of times, our relationships is a much much uglier picture,
I would not ever deny that fact.
Have you ever pondered about what it’s like to
be one half of someone else?
Imagine how in a dispute, it’s always her
words against yours?
Imagine how people around you are constantly
comparing the two of you- school, grades, work, achievements… possibly my
future husband, future kids, and the list goes on till the day I die.
Imagine always having to prove your own worth,
because having a twin is like having a shadow that never leaves you.
Imagine how people always expect you to be on
good terms with each other.
This is what having a un-detachable
sibling feels like. Clearly, we are two incredibly different individuals-
different dress sense, different thinking, different beliefs and values. Yet no
matter how different we are, we still had to share our room, and the not-so-big
living space around the house. This literally translates to double trouble. If
we had just been two roommates or classmates, we wouldn’t have even thought
about befriending each other in the first place. Instead, we weren’t offered
the choice of not knowing each other, but are forced to endure each other’s
company each day. Woman and their mother-in-law often get into conflicts from
staying in the same house. What more, two people sharing the same living squat
in a tiny space? It drives us both insane when we step on each other’s toes or
cross each other’s line. This has happened too often. And the fact that you
need to tip-toe around your own room, change and search for your clothes/things
in the dark, due to differing schedules, is the worst feeling ever. Unlike
those of you who have the luxury to retreat into own room, I am only in my room
when I'm sleeping (no kidding).
The greatest relief in life was splitting up
secondary school, where I finally had the chance to live my life, no longer
bound by ridiculous societal rules. I revel and relish in those moments and
phases of my life where I could pretend to be an individual. I learnt to speak
up, to lead and be at ease with myself. And the other happier moment, is when
she's staying out for the night.
Who said twins had to like each other? How on
earth did people come up with the idea that twins could be the of friends and
can live happily ever after?
For a decade and counting, I wish and wish and wish for my own room.
For a decade and counting, I wish and wish and wish for my own room.