an honest confession of a twin

Many of us who has siblings will know how frustrating it can be to get along at times.

Just imagine how much worst it is for me, trying to get along with a counterpart that you cannot even run away from, tied together by birthday and genes. Trust me, I know exactly how this feels.

 I have countless people who came up to me with a dreamy look in their eyes saying “I wish I had a twin- I would love to have someone my own age to play with.”

 No doubt, these people must be thinking about those famous twin movies from “The Parent Trap”, or “finding Mary-Kate and Ashley”. Their dazzling identical smiles and exotic twin powers that are enough to charm the pants off anyone. Or some, who might be think of the kind of twins who are constantly in matching outfits- The type that finishes off each other’s sentences and know exactly what the other is thinking. Yes, there are some twins who really are like that. I’m not denying that, for I’ve ever met twins like that myself before.

However, it is surely a common misconception and assumption to think that twins will be identical and have mirroring personalities of each other. In most case, or at least in my case, this is absolutely untrue. At the worst of times, our relationships is a much much uglier picture, I would not ever deny that fact.

Have you ever pondered about what it’s like to be one half of someone else?

Imagine how in a dispute, it’s always her words against yours?

Imagine how people around you are constantly comparing the two of you- school, grades, work, achievements… possibly my future husband, future kids, and the list goes on till the day I die.

Imagine always having to prove your own worth, because having a twin is like having a shadow that never leaves you.

Imagine how people always expect you to be on good terms with each other.

This is what having a un-detachable sibling feels like. Clearly, we are two incredibly different individuals- different dress sense, different thinking, different beliefs and values. Yet no matter how different we are, we still had to share our room, and the not-so-big living space around the house. This literally translates to double trouble. If we had just been two roommates or classmates, we wouldn’t have even thought about befriending each other in the first place. Instead, we weren’t offered the choice of not knowing each other, but are forced to endure each other’s company each day. Woman and their mother-in-law often get into conflicts from staying in the same house. What more, two people sharing the same living squat in a tiny space? It drives us both insane when we step on each other’s toes or cross each other’s line. This has happened too often. And the fact that you need to tip-toe around your own room, change and search for your clothes/things in the dark, due to differing schedules, is the worst feeling ever. Unlike those of you who have the luxury to retreat into own room, I am only in my room when I'm sleeping (no kidding). 

The greatest relief in life was splitting up secondary school, where I finally had the chance to live my life, no longer bound by ridiculous societal rules. I revel and relish in those moments and phases of my life where I could pretend to be an individual. I learnt to speak up, to lead and be at ease with myself. And the other happier moment, is when she's staying out for the night. 

Who said twins had to like each other? How on earth did people come up with the idea that twins could be the of friends and can live happily ever after? 

For a decade and counting, I wish and wish and wish for my own room. 

every man for themselves

Just a few weeks ago, I was was struggling with an internal turmoil- to sail the sea and be an explorer or to stay grounded but given the learning curve to progress from where I am. Today, I cannot be more certain and affirmed in the choice I've made. Surely, seeing the world would have been something I have very much wanted to do, but situations sometimes leave people steering their wheels in different directions.

I haven talked about work much even though I've been working for almost 2 years. If anyone was to ask me how do I find my job, before July begun, I would readily tell you that I have a nice boss who really didn't bother about punctuality, nice colleagues and the only part I dread about work is waking up. Indeed, my job entails so many varied aspects that no one day is ever the same. Being a marketing coordinator, I could be desk bound replying emails and managing marketing budget, or I could be attending a marketing brief or media session with my colleagues, or I could be at the frontline meeting customers and winners. It was so interesting each day. And I'm ever so thankful that my boss accommodates my timetable each semester. It really tide me through all the financial burden while in university.

But July brought about a new perspective to situations. Things have been pretty rocky at work since the restructuring. And I've been more than overworked, taking on the job scope of 2 others, namely two more portfolios and having to become an on-the-job training PA. Even a pay revision doesn't justify the workload that I'm getting. Still, I didn't mind because I know I will eventually be able to juggle them and there were too many nice people around for me to want to leave.

But I guess one needs to be realistic and grab the good things that come along in life. It's finally time to move on. Especially when people are starting to exploit you, even those you once believe were protecting you. The promise of getting a portfolio that involves more hands-on planning and execution were nothing but empty promises. And when they appear to be supportive of your decisions but got upset with you behind your back because they could never find someone to fill the void you've left. Every man for themselves. That's the last straw.

I'm still grateful for all that happened the past 2 years, but I'm glad I'm moving on to level up somewhere else. There were bad times but surely, there were many many good times. I will probably still well up in tears bidding goodbyes to all the kind angels I've come to know :'(

5 more days.

lost and found is the best feeling on earth

The thing about having a 2.5 year old baby girl at home is that she can walk, and is tall enough to reach things on the table, open the drawers and all. And that means your belongings arent safe anymore.

My dear fatty girl took my ipod to meddle n i couldn't find it ANYMORE! Major depression when my ipod is my life especially when I take public transport everyday and I badly need to block out noisy tracks or conversations that I dun want to hear about. So travelling WEST today without my ipod was damn EMO

 ='(

Got home, and started the hunt for my beloved ipod,

questioned fatty but to no avail.

And by 8pm I still couldn't find it.

Second wave of depression.

And then I decided to google it and rmb that i have a "find my ipod" APP.

Just log on to https://www.icloud.com

Located my ipod and it is really IN MY HOUSE.

But it's quite useless when the house/room is all cluttered and with so many blindspots.

This works wonder i swear! 

It will ring even if ur ipod is on mute.

But if my ipod wasnt connected to wifi

I think i'll nv be able to find it again.

Thanks goodness!

虚惊一场

:)

misfortunes befell

It was or had been a great wkend until an email from lecturer dropped from the sky and hit me hard.

Been so enjoying my holidays I've totally forgotten that we'll be getting back results for our assignments. Didn't give it much thought until I opened the file and freaking realised that I've submitted the copy for turnitin and not the one with reference list.

Sigh.. My distinction just flew away because I got marked down by a grade. 

But I shld be thankful because my lecturer could have just failed me straight.

Blessing? Trouble?

:'(

work

Knocked off at 230pm when I should only finish work at 6.

Truly TGIF.

Not forgetting all the nice ppl in office.

It was the annual comm session where all the perm staff will need to attend, at an external venue.

This year's was in city area in the early afternoon.

Good thing for temps, we are not required to attend.

Instead of slogging (or slacking. teehee) in the office,

EVERY single person that walked past my desk reminded me to go off early after I'm done for the day,

regardless of the time.

And, I did.

So sweet of them.

Life's blessings come in many ways, big or small.

So loved :)